Wed 30 Jan 2013
Dear God, it’s me Noah.
You know that I am a usually a pretty good kid and you know that I want to grow up and be an honest and good productive member of society. I want you to know that I try my best to listen to my parents, do well in school and be a good friend. Sometimes, I may not succeed but I always take my best shot.
There is just one hitch on my road of life to perfection (well, two if you count hockey). It is called snow, lot’s of snow. When you decide that it is necessary to send such insane quantities of powder, how can I possibly sit in school and learn? Really, how can I? I have patiently watched the snow fall for two days straight. I have watched it pile up so high that I can no longer step into it, I have to climb it! I have watched my mom shovel and my dad plow time and time again. I have to listen to my mom sing her happy snow songs and do her happy snow dances. I am tired of hearing about face shots and snow so deep you can’t breath and so there comes a point in one’s life (me, I am talking about me) when you just have to throw it all to the wind and have a little fun. I know my mom is all about recreational amusement so, it wasn’t too hard to persuade her to let me skip out on 4th grade for a day.
I would like to point out that in class we are currently learning about weather so I think a hands on learning experience about atmospheric pressure, climate changes and geological formations should actually count as extra credit, don’t you? Could you let my teacher know that I hucked a few of those formations yesterday just so I could really get my day’s fill of good, hard edumacation.
Now, God, I would really like you to know that although I ditched school for Solitude Mountain Resort, it is also important to point out that my integrity is still intact. In fact, while some of my grown up ski friends called in sick to work, lied about car accidents, unintentionally slept in or made up some other phony excuse to shred the gnar, I just told the truth.
I went into the school office at 10:45 am and said my mom would be checking me out any minute to go skiing. The secretary rolled her eyes at me and sighed and said “Have fun playing hookie.” Hey, at least she knew I wasn’t standing there full of excuses. I am a Hodson, it’s what I do. I am genetically programmed to find a way, no matter what to have fun but, I will always call it like it is. However, in defense Madame Secretary, I was NOT playing hookie!
The Urban Dictionary says this about hookie:
“A day in which liberty is taken upon oneself to exclude themself (Hey, Urban dictionary…that’s not even a real word!) from school or work obligations while, most likely, pretending to be sick or having a death in the family. Usually this time is spent with a significant other, a sports activity (i.e. golf or playstation), or just plain sitting on one’s tushy (I changed this word to make it G-rated…your welcome.) all day.”
It is important for me to convey to you that I did not play hookie. As a matter of fact, I think I should rake up some bonus points from you because in looking back over the incident, I believe I played all my cards exactly right! As you know honesty is a commandment and I followed it to perfection.
So, God, I guess what I am saying is that I am not perfect and that I won’t always make the best choices but, in this case, you must admit that this incident is really all on your shoulders. You are the one sending all this snow and you are the one who gave me a mom who’s biggest claim to fame was that she had more truancies than anyone else in her high school. You are also the one who made me love this white stuff so, since I am placing the blame squarely where it is most deserved, will you also help me to find a way to be successful and play my whole life through? That’s all.